Archive for May, 2013

Sam and Kate Visit the Orthodontist

After their appointments…

Sam:  “So do you need braces?”

Kate.  “Yes.  Kind of.  There’s this thing they need to put in first,” makes exaggerated motions with her lower jaw, “to make room for all my grown-up teeth.”

Sam:  “So you have a big mouth?”

Kate (scornfully):  “No.  Weren’t you listening?  There’s NOT ENOUGH ROOM for all my big teeth, when they come in.  So they need to stretch it to make room.”

Sam:  “So, you will have a big mouth.”

I AM (Half) Iron Man

Walking home from the bus stop…

Mark:  “I have something sad to tell you.”

Me (thinking:  OH NO!):  “Oh?”

Mark:  “I am half made out of metal now.”

Me (relieved):  “Oh?”

Mark (nodding seriously):  “I was in a TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.  I was RIPPED IN HALF.  But somehow I survived and now my OTHER half is made of metal.”  (Pats his stomach whilst making a clinking sound.)

Me:  “So  how’s the whole being half-metal thing working out for you?”

Kate rolls her eyes, disgusted I’m entertaining this nonsense.

Mark (more sage nodding):  “Pretty good.  I got dented during a fight from a HORRIBLE BLOW but it’s okay now.”

Kate (deciding, apparently, someone needed to speak up for reality):  “So you’re half made out of metal?”

Mark:  “Uh-huh.”

Kate:  “No you’re not.”

Mark:  “Yes I am.”

Kate:  “So pull off  your skin and show us.”

Mark:  “I am a war robot.  I don’t have to prove anything to YOU.”

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