Archive for September, 2013

Mark One-ups Percy Jackson

Mark (subtly.  That is, as subtly as he can manage, which is brick-like):  “So, who’s your favorite Greek god or goddess?”

Me:  “I don’t know.  I haven’t given it much thought.”

Mark:  “Athena, goddess of wisdom?  Zeus?  No, NOT Zeus.  I HATE Zeus.  Poseidon?”

Me:  “I guess I’d have to go with Athena.”

Mark:  “How do you KNOW you’re not a child of Athena and she just hasn’t claimed you yet?”

Me:  “Um.  Hmm.  I suppose I can’t be sure.”

Mark (warming to his real purpose):  “If YOU were a demi-god, and I was a son of Poseidon, I’d be more than half demigod.  I’d be the most powerful demigod.  Percy would have to pass Riptide along to me!”  (BRUHAHAHA!)

(He sees a problem)

Mark:  “How do you KNOW Dad is my REAL father?”

Me (because I’m as bad as the kids):  “You’re too young to know the truth.”

Mark (with scornful patience):  “I have my own supersonic jet with LASERS.  That I fly MYSELF.  I think I can handle the truth.”

Me:  “Fine.  He’s just a mortal I married to keep you safe.”

Mark:  “I KNEW IT.”


Mark, Self-Styled Celebrity

Me:  “Everyone ready for school?  Breakfast?  Brushed teeth?  Packed lunch?  Clean clothes?”

Mark:  “Don’t you SEE I have clean clothes?  I am wearing my famous zip up the side pants!”

Kate:  “Famous?”

Mark:  “FAMOUS.”

Kate:  “Who says they’re famous?”

Mark:  “Look, they up-zip on the SIDE.  To cool my ANKLES. ”

Kate (not distracted):  “WHO SAYS they’re famous?”

Mark:  “Well, they SHOULD be famous.”

Show Your Work

So Mark’s working on his math homework…

Mark:  “I’m finished!”

Me:  “Great.  Let’s have a look.”

I peruse the page.  It’s a multi-step word problem, the sort of thing I was doing in 5th grade, not 2nd.  The last question:  “Explain how you got this answer.”

What Mark wrote:  “I used my brain.”   

Mark and Kate Debate Gender Stereotypes

So Mark and Kate are playing with the plastic dinosaurs…

Mark (brandishing a plastic stegosaurus):  “THIS one is the boy.  Here comes a big carnivore!  The boy will fight the carnivore!” (picking up a plastic ankylosaurus with his other hand) “THIS one is the girl.  She’s afraid of the carnivore.”

Kate:  “WHAT?  Why can’t the boy be afraid for a change?”

Mark:  “Because she’s the GIRL.”

Kate:  “SO?”

Mark:  “What?”

Kate:  “The GIRL can fight the bad guy too.”

Mark (who is not actually a chauvinist but merely pulling out plot lines he’s seen in too many cartoons, thinks this over and decides she has a point):  “Okay.”

In the end, they decide the stegosaur and ankylosaur are brother and sister who fight the carnivore together.  Good job, next generation!

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