Archive for October, 2013

Trick-or-Treating with Ron Weasley

At the first house:

Unsuspecting Homeowner:  “And who are you?  Harry Potter?”

Mark:  “RON WEASLEY.  See the HAIR?”


Another homeowner had serious Halloween decorations.  Creepy dementor-like ghost in the tree, electric bat that flapped its weeds, a mat that shrieked when you stepped on it.

Mark (whipping out his wand when he saw the tree):  “EXPECTO PATRONUM!  EXPECTO PATRONUM!”


The next homeowner also had some cool decorations.  Including a giant inflatable spider.

Mark:  “ARAGOG!”

Homeowner:  “Cool, huh?”

Mark:  “Not really. Some of us have ARACHNOPHOBIA.”

Pronunciation. An’at.

So this exchange went down during yesterday’s Steelers’ game:

Kate:  “Pixburgh is ahead?”

Sam:  “You said ‘Pixburgh’.”

Kate (staring like  the native-born Yinzer she is, despite being transplanted to Maryland):  “How ELSE would you say it?”

A Likely Story

So we’re at Mark’s Cub Scout meeting and he decides he needs to use the bathroom.  But he ALSO wants to get back to the meeting, because fun things are happening.

Which is why I was suspicious when he reappeared so quickly after the pee-noises stopped.

Me:  “Did you wash your hands?”

Mark:  “Ummm…I was just checking that there wasn’t a zombie out here.  They come out when it gets dark, you know.”

Me:  “Hands!”

He goes back into the bathroom, but apparently he feels the need to bolster this cover story, because I get an earful about zombies all the way home.

Mark:  “You have to wear long pants around zombies.  They try to bite your legs if you’re wearing shorts.  Twilight zombies are bad.  They come out when the sun goes down.  Like I told you.  But Red Lava Zombies are the worst.  They’re smart.  They’ still have HALF A BRAIN.”

Me:  “Where have you been learning about zombies?”

Mark (with that DUH tone):  “When I encounter them.”

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