Posts Tagged ‘Church’

Why Vikings Were Tough to Convert

St. Patrick’s day is also Mark’s birthday, which is why he scored Patrick as a bonus middle name.  So he was extra-squirrelly at church this past Sunday.

He races into the sanctuary and plops down in the first pew, the one without anything between you and the choir.  Just as I make it to the sanctuary door I hear the Pastor trying to do announcements and Mark bellowing at her:  “Don’t forget!  It’s my BIRTHDAY today!”

Then there was the Children’s Sermon…

Pastor:  “St. Patrick was not Irish.  He was captured by Irish pirates and taken to Ireland, where he was treated as a slave and had to work very hard.  Later he escaped, but he heard God telling him to return to Ireland and preach the gospel.  Would you want to go back to where you’d been held captive?”

Mark:  “YES.”

Pastor:  “Why?”

Mark:  “To get REVENGE.”

I’ve mentioned before that Mark seems to have the natural make-up of a Viking…it’s probably no accident that Scandinavia converted hundreds of years after the rest of Europe.



Mark Wins Presbyterian Idol

So we’re at church yesterday and discover that during the service, the nursery kids will come down and sing.  I cross my fingers that the teachers have the good sense to leave Mark in the classroom.

Ten minutes later they show up.  No luck.  He’s there.  Brian and I glance nervously at one another.  There are just so many ways this could go bad.

The teachers begin leading the nursery kids in a little song.  So far, so good.  I dare to inhale.

Mark breaks from the group and makes a beeline for the microphone.  He’s obviously watched the big boys plays Guitar Hero:  Rock Band enough to know  that when you sing, it should be into a mike.

He’s belting it out, Sunday School rock star hand gestures and all.  Since he actually knows the words and is on tune, the teachers give up trying to peel him away from the mike.

Okay, I think, this is still a salvageable situation.

Which is when Kate breaks from the ranks of Children’s Choir (standing nearby, scheduled to sing next) and to all appearances starts trying to wrestle the microphone away from Mark.  He’s  fending her off with one hand and clutching the mike with the other.  Exercising enormous restraint, neither parent crawls under the pews, out of sight of the now-openly guffawing congregation.

She claims later that she was just trying to adjust the mike for him.  I’m skeptical.  She hasn’t had a solo yet in Children’s Choir, though she’s understudied for one a couple of times, and I suspect her nose was seriously out of joint that Mark managed to finagle one.

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