Posts Tagged ‘Diplomacy’

Mark Assesses My Mood

Mark (tapping  my wedding ring thoughtfully):  “Are you sure this isn’t Frodo’s Ring?”

Me:  “The One Ring was destroyed at Mount Doom.  So, no.”

Mark:  “Are you sure?”

Me:  “Yes.  Why?”

Mark:  “Well, you have been a bit evil lately.”

Apparently it’s been a cranky week.  But if you’d have met eldest child when he was little, you’d understand why I’ve run through my lifetime supply of patience early.

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Parental Old Age

So here’s how the dinner-time conversation went down yesterday:

Kate (looking at the calendar):  “Oh!  I didn’t know someone had a birthday in December.”

Me:  “Dad.  He’s turning 40.”

Kate (eyes huge):  “40!”

Sam:  “That’s OLD.”

Mark:  “REALLY old.”

Sam:  “Why isn’t his hair gray?”

Kate:  “His beard’s turning gray.”

Mark:  “Wow.  That is REALLY OLD.”

Sam:  “Won’t he be retiring soon?”

Kate (to me):  “How old are you?”

Me:  “39.”

I decided NOT to mention that I also turn 40 next month.

Diplomacy

Oh my children, if your mother gets up early on Saturday morning the day before Mother’s Day and makes you a special breakfast cake in a kickin’-cool castle-shaped bundt pan, it is not a good idea for three of the four of you to wail, “Eww!  I don’t like it!  Can I have something else?  What IS it?”

For one thing, the more-astute teenager, concerned about his siblings’ continued existence, can only shove in so much.  And he lies badly.

Although to be fair, “Yum!  Mom, this is great!”, probably NEVER sounds persuasive coming out of a teenager’s mouth.

Preschool Diplomacy

Mark, on the phone to Grandma:  “I got a new tractor!”

[pause while he listens]

Mark:  “Yes.  I know Grandpa sent it.  I LOVE Grandpa.”

[pause]

Mark:  “I don’t love you.”

[pause]

Mark:  “What I meant was, I love you, but Kate loves you MORE.”

Ethics

So we’re watching NCIS this evening, and a teaser for the eleven o’ clock news comes on:  “More tonight about the first death from Swine Flu in our area!”

Paul:  “Oh, that’s bad.”

Sam:  “Why?”

Paul:  “Someone DIED.”

Sam:  “Just ONE person.”

Paul:  “But what if that one person was MOM?  Just because you didn’t know him doesn’t make him not important.  How do you think his family is feeling?”

Sam:  “Maybe he was an orphan.”

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