Posts Tagged ‘Gardening’

Mark Worries on his Plants’ Behalf

When we moved in  July we bought a house covered in English ivy vines.  The backyard is similarly overcome with vines.  The process of trying to get the ivy under control, not to mention catching poison ivy from some sneaky hiding-in-plain-sight frondy villain–has made a serious detractor of vines.

Me (pulling yet more vines off the house):  “This stuff is EVIL.  Vines should be killed.  Killed with FIRE.”

Mark (wide-eyed, seizing two handfuls of vine):  “I’ll help you get wid of dem, Mom!”

And then Mark planted some pumpkin seeds.

They sprouted, two nice fat green leaves, which grew larger and then added a third to their number.

Me:  “They’re growing nicely.  Soon start to vine out and we’ll have to stake them out.”

Mark (horror-struck):  “They’re going to turn into VINES?”

Me (not yet making the connection):  “Yeah.”

Mark (gloomily resigned):  “So you’re going to kill dem?”

Me:  “No.  We’ll plant them in the garden.” (still clueless) “What makes you think I’d kill your pumpkin plants?”

Mark (not persuaded): “They’re VINES.”

So then I had to explain about GOOD vines vs BAD vines.  Later I realized apparently I come across to my children as the sort of person who’d help a kid plant some seeds, all the while planning to kill the resulting plant, right in front of said child.

I had no idea I give such a good impression of an abject sadist…

Rimshot!

Paul:  “Those bushes I planted in the backyard last fall are growing!”

Me:  “The forsythia bushes?”

Paul:  “There’s only three now.  Kate pulled one up.”

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