Posts Tagged ‘Halloween’

Successful Play-doh Extraction

So we’re at the doctor on Wednesday…

Doctor:  “Mark, um, the inside of your ear is blue.”  Looks some more.  “Did you put a bead in here?”

Mark (emphatically):  “No!”

Doctor:  “Does it hurt?”

Mark:  “No.”

Doctor:  “Do you have trouble hearing?”

Mark:  “Yes!”

(Inside my head):  THAT explains a lot.

Doctor:  “Well, it has to come out.  Schedule with the ENT.”

Scheduled with the ENT.  (I have to type it as ENT, not Ent–otherwise I has visions of Treebeard poking twiggy fingers into Mark’s ear).

Hastily rescheduled Friday morning after a sobbing Mark called from school that the 2 PM appointment overlapped the school Halloween costume parade.

ENT:  “Okay, Mark, let’s get that bead out.”

Mark:  “Will this take long?  The costume parade is at 2:30.”

ENT:  “Not if you hold still.”

MARK FREEZES

ENT:  “Oooaaaakkky.  It’s crumbling, so not a bead.”

Mark (indignantly):  “I did NOT put a bead in my ear.”

ENT:  “I think it’s play-doh.”

Mark:  “Oh.  That.”

(Inside my head):  The paper wad up the nose.  Now this.  You’re out of easy-to-retrieve-from orifices, kid.

In the car:

Me:  “How DID you end up with play-doh in your ear?”

Mark:  “I sleepwalk.”

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Trick-or-Treating with Ron Weasley

At the first house:

Unsuspecting Homeowner:  “And who are you?  Harry Potter?”

Mark:  “RON WEASLEY.  See the HAIR?”

 

Another homeowner had serious Halloween decorations.  Creepy dementor-like ghost in the tree, electric bat that flapped its weeds, a mat that shrieked when you stepped on it.

Mark (whipping out his wand when he saw the tree):  “EXPECTO PATRONUM!  EXPECTO PATRONUM!”

 

The next homeowner also had some cool decorations.  Including a giant inflatable spider.

Mark:  “ARAGOG!”

Homeowner:  “Cool, huh?”

Mark:  “Not really. Some of us have ARACHNOPHOBIA.”

Halloween

So Brian took the younger kids around treat-or-treating, while I handed out candy at our house.  He was puzzled as to why Mark was hollering, “Uno, dos,” after leaving each house.

Now, we’re not shocked by the Spanish.  There are several shows on PBS which teach a smattering of Spanish.  But since he didn’t seem to be actually counting anything…well, as they say, the authorities were baffled.

Finally Brian just asked.  “Mark, what do you think ‘Uno, dos’ means?”

Mark (with that searing  scorn that toddlers and teens have perfected):  “Good-bye.  Of course.”

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