15 Dec
Mark: “I can do a Harry Potter English accent.”
Me: “Oh? How’s that?”
Mark: “I was born in Pittsburgh, right?”
Me: “I’m with you so far.”
Mark: “And Pittsburgh was settled by the English, right?”
Me: “That’s true–”
Mark: “That means I’m English. So I can easily SOUND English. It’s IN MY BLOOD.”
31 Oct
At the first house:
Unsuspecting Homeowner: “And who are you? Harry Potter?”
Mark: “RON WEASLEY. See the HAIR?”
Another homeowner had serious Halloween decorations. Creepy dementor-like ghost in the tree, electric bat that flapped its weeds, a mat that shrieked when you stepped on it.
Mark (whipping out his wand when he saw the tree): “EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!”
The next homeowner also had some cool decorations. Including a giant inflatable spider.
Mark: “ARAGOG!”
Homeowner: “Cool, huh?”
Mark: “Not really. Some of us have ARACHNOPHOBIA.”
30 Aug
Mark listens to Harry Potter audiobooks every night while he’s going to sleep. He also has a set of plastic dinosaurs that converse as they fight. Which is how this came about:
Plastic Maiasaur: “My father was a plant-eater, like me.”
Plastic Brachiosaur: “It turns out my father was a carnivore. Bit of a nasty shock when I found out.”
