Posts Tagged ‘Sunday School’

Mark Snags the Hot Mic

So VBS finished up and the following Sunday morning it was time to haul the little children before the congregation to show what they learned.

In Mark’s case, rather more than they expected.

Youth Pastor (with the mic):  “All right, children, come to the front!  Let’s sing the grown-ups a song and show them what we did in Vacation Bible School.”

The children trek to the stage.  Brian and I watch with trepidation.  We have, after all, known Mark for six years now, and Paul before that, and are well aware of their predilections with captive audiences.

The Youth Pastor, however, is not.  Mark tries to grab the mic.  YP dodges, and keeps talking about VBS.  Mark bides his time, makes another grab.  YP performs evasive maneuvers.  After the fifth, barely foiled attempt, YP covers the mic and asks Mark what he wants to say.  Mark whispers in his ear.  YP hands over the mic.  Brian and I hold our breath.

Mark:  “I’m so glad you all could be here today.  We’re going to have a great time…”  I.e., exactly what YP has said every morning at VBS.  Mark has cast himself in the Role of Authority.  The shock.  It burns.

YP, apparently recognizing his own banter, takes back the mic.  “It’s time to sing our song.”   He sets down the mic while turning on the music.

Brian and I look at each other.  Tactical error, YP.

Mark, seeing YP’s hands empty, begins a systematic search among the mics (there are several on stage) for the hot one, singing along the whole time.  First one…nope…second one…nope…third…no…fourth…bingo!

Panic blooms in YP’s face.  Yeah, we know that feel, bro.

Mark lifts the mic and begins belting out the song, now amplified.

The congregation, nearly all of whom qualify for social security, tries not to laugh, which you’re not really supposed to do in church.  Mark is now dancing while he sings and trying to do the accompanying hand motions, difficult when you’re also handing a mic.

Congregation loses their battle for decorum and hoots.   At the end of the song, YP takes back his mic, with some difficulty.

I figure when it’s time to recruit Sunday School teachers for the fall, all YP has to do is bring Mark up to the stage.  “Volunteer…or this child will be in service EVERY SUNDAY.”  That should bring in a bumper crop.

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Sunday School again

So we’re dropping Mark off at Sunday School.  The other kids are already working on puzzles.

Mark:  “This will be easy for me.  They don’t call me the PuzzleMaster for nothing, you know.”

Me:  “Who calls you the PuzzleMaster?”

Mark:  “I call MYSELF the PuzzleMaster.”

Well, I guess Lex Luthor was a little boy once…

Mark and Sunday School warmongering

Whatever the topic, Mark manages to work mayhem into the conversation at Sunday School.  Yesterday, for instance, the rooster that crowed 3 times during Peter’s betrayal of Christ became a Warrior Chicken, attacking bad guys with its badass pecking.

Which was not as disturbing as the week before.  In which Mark created a giant sea serpent out of paper, whose job it is to keep peace on earth, apparently by frightening everyone into doing as they ought.  I gather Mark believes Jesus could use a hand with that.  Or a scaly coil.

It’s just that for those of us already convinced Mark is a reborn Viking, having him invent the Midgard Serpent is a tad disturbing.

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