Posts Tagged ‘Superheroes’

Superhero Island

Mark almost never shuts up.  I don’t know how they handle this at school, but at home, after a while we have to ask him to leave the room in the interest of maintaining what little sanity we have left.

That’s okay, he wasn’t talking to us anyway.  Mark spends most of his time in imaginative play–it just has to happen out loud, apparently.

Given what I’m hearing, I’m becoming convinced that he’s a future TV producer.  Remember the game in which the Army pilot rescued people and committed other acts of derring-do, all with his collie in the co-pilot’s seat, with his own special dog-sized helmet?  That would run for 6 seasons on CBS.

His latest offering:  Superhero Island.  In which the Avengers, among others, end up on Survivor.  He has a set of action figures and provides them with conflict and snappy dialogue:

Wonder Woman:  “Wolverine, you didn’t do the dishes.  Again.”

Wolverine:  “Growl.”

Wonder Woman:  “Don’t growl at me.  I’m not doing the dishes just because I’m a girl.”

You KNOW you’d watch this.

Mark Puts the Smack-down on Paul

So we’re enroute to grandma’s house for Christmas…

Mark and Kate are watching Sky High on the portable DVD player.

Mark:  “How old is this movie? It must be old.”

Sam:  “2004?”

Kate:  “I think 1995.”

Mark:  “It can’t be THAT old.  It’s not in black and white.”

Paul (born 1996):  “Not cool, Mark.  NOT cool.”

Mark One-ups Percy Jackson

Mark (subtly.  That is, as subtly as he can manage, which is brick-like):  “So, who’s your favorite Greek god or goddess?”

Me:  “I don’t know.  I haven’t given it much thought.”

Mark:  “Athena, goddess of wisdom?  Zeus?  No, NOT Zeus.  I HATE Zeus.  Poseidon?”

Me:  “I guess I’d have to go with Athena.”

Mark:  “How do you KNOW you’re not a child of Athena and she just hasn’t claimed you yet?”

Me:  “Um.  Hmm.  I suppose I can’t be sure.”

Mark (warming to his real purpose):  “If YOU were a demi-god, and I was a son of Poseidon, I’d be more than half demigod.  I’d be the most powerful demigod.  Percy would have to pass Riptide along to me!”  (BRUHAHAHA!)

(He sees a problem)

Mark:  “How do you KNOW Dad is my REAL father?”

Me (because I’m as bad as the kids):  “You’re too young to know the truth.”

Mark (with scornful patience):  “I have my own supersonic jet with LASERS.  That I fly MYSELF.  I think I can handle the truth.”

Me:  “Fine.  He’s just a mortal I married to keep you safe.”

Mark:  “I KNEW IT.”


Universal Studios Makes Mark’s Day

So we visited Universal Studios.  The Wizarding World of Harry Potter was pretty awesome.  Much geeking out all around (“Look!  There’s Honeydukes!  Look!  The Hogwarts Express!”

Then we got to the Marvel Studios area, and Mark’s life reached an height of bliss he may never experience again.

There were costumed superheroes out and about, and people were waiting in line to have their pictures taken with them.  The line to see Wolverine was too long, but Mark, not being a superhero sexist like apparently the REST of the crowd, headed over to Rogue and Storm, who were more or less fan-deprived.

They struck a pose, ready for a picture, but that’s not what Mark wanted.  He wanted to talk to them.  He had an urgent message.  He needed to MAKE CONTACT WITH HIS PEOPLE.

Mark:  “I also have mutant powers.”

Rogue:  “Oh?”

Mark:  “Yes.  I used some of the X-men’s DNA and injected myself in my SECRET LAB and gave myself MUTANT POWERS.”

Storm:  “What can you do?”

Mark:  “I am half made of METAL and I am invincible.”

Rogue:  “Who is your favorite X-man?”

Mark (ever the diplomat):  “You.”

Rogue:  “Aaaah!  You’re so sweet.  Why don’t you come meet the rest of the group?”

Which is how Mark got to go backstage and meet ALL the costumed superheroes.

Lord love these people.  They let him talk and talk, and never broke character.Image

Cylops:  “Who do you fight?”

Mark:  “A supervillain named TechnoEvil”

Cyclops:  “TechnoEvil?  He must be new.  I’ve never heard of him.  Storm, are you taking notes, so we can put this into the computer when we get back to HQ?”

Storm:  “On it.”

Spidey:  “What if Rogue touches you?  Will she get your powers?”

Mark:  “No, no, that won’t work.  I have a repeller plate under my SKIN.”

Wolverine:  “We have to recruit this kid.  I don’t want to fight him.”

I’d like to say Mark recognized how awesome these superhero actors were being to him.  But really what was going on is that as far as he was concerned, someone had finally acknowledged WHO HE REALLY IS, and accepted it all as his due.

I AM (Half) Iron Man

Walking home from the bus stop…

Mark:  “I have something sad to tell you.”

Me (thinking:  OH NO!):  “Oh?”

Mark:  “I am half made out of metal now.”

Me (relieved):  “Oh?”

Mark (nodding seriously):  “I was in a TERRIBLE ACCIDENT.  I was RIPPED IN HALF.  But somehow I survived and now my OTHER half is made of metal.”  (Pats his stomach whilst making a clinking sound.)

Me:  “So  how’s the whole being half-metal thing working out for you?”

Kate rolls her eyes, disgusted I’m entertaining this nonsense.

Mark (more sage nodding):  “Pretty good.  I got dented during a fight from a HORRIBLE BLOW but it’s okay now.”

Kate (deciding, apparently, someone needed to speak up for reality):  “So you’re half made out of metal?”

Mark:  “Uh-huh.”

Kate:  “No you’re not.”

Mark:  “Yes I am.”

Kate:  “So pull off  your skin and show us.”

Mark:  “I am a war robot.  I don’t have to prove anything to YOU.”

With Great Power…

Mark:  “This looks like a job for Yellow Lightning!”

Me:  “I thought you were Bloody Axe.”

Mark:  “I WAS.  Now I am Yellow Lightning.  My enemy is Black Cloud.  He sucked up ALL the water from the oceans.  I made him drop it.”

Me:  “Hmm.”

Paul:  “Can I have friends over tonight?”

Me:  “Sure.”

Paul:  “Until 1 or 2 AM?”

Me:  “Midnight.”

Paul:  “1 AM?”

Me:  “Midnight.”

Mark:  “Do you need Yellow Lightning to deal with this?”

Me:  “No.”


We Miss Sidewalks

Walking to the bus stop:

Mark:  “My superhero instincts tell me there’s danger near.”

Kate:  “We’re walking in the ROAD.  We could be hit by a CAR and KILLED.  OF COURSE there is danger.”

Mark:  “REAL danger.  I sense  REAL danger.”

Kate:  “Getting hit by a car IS real danger.”

Mark:  “Getting cut in half by a LASER is real danger.”

Kate:  “You’re dead either way.”

Mark:  “Hffphm.”

Not the Hero We Deserve. I Sure Hope.

Mark:  “Did ya know I have a new secret identity?”

Me:  “Oh?”

Mark:  “Yeah.  It’s BLOODY AXE.”

Me:  “That seems a bit…extreme.”

Mark:  “Not many bad guys know about it.  They say, ‘Who are you’?”  (waves invisible axe).  “I say, ‘Can’t you GUESS?'”

Mark’s Hollywood Future

I suspect Mark has a budding career waiting for him in Hollywood…

Mark:  “Wouldn’t Monster Rangers be a cool show?”

Me:  “What?”

Mark:  “You know, like Power Rangers, but the heroes have the power of monsters.”

Me:  “NBC is desperate enough…”

Really, it’s a not a bad concept. He’d already pitched a show concept a few months ago, the one about the Army helicopter pilot whose dog rides in the helo with him, wearing his own helmet.  I am not going to think too hard about the fact that my kindergartener a) pulls fascinating concepts out of the air with ease and b) pitches them a whole lot better than I pitch book concepts.

Mark:  “If there’s a show, there will need to be books.”

Yup.  You heard right.  The six year old has crossover marketing down cold.  AND he’d throwing me a bone.  There’ll need to be books, Mom.  You can write them. You know, for my hit show.

Sunday School again

So we’re dropping Mark off at Sunday School.  The other kids are already working on puzzles.

Mark:  “This will be easy for me.  They don’t call me the PuzzleMaster for nothing, you know.”

Me:  “Who calls you the PuzzleMaster?”

Mark:  “I call MYSELF the PuzzleMaster.”

Well, I guess Lex Luthor was a little boy once…

%d bloggers like this: