Posts Tagged ‘Swimming’

Pick Your Battles

Me (to myself):  Wear the bikini.  You’re 45, who cares what you look like, just wear it.  It’ll be fine.

Go downstairs en route to pool.

Mark lets out a wail like an ax murderer has caught up with him.  “My eyes!  Oh god!  There’s some things you just can’t unsee!”

Sam:  “Relax.  It’s just a swimsuit.  It’s not that big a deal.”

Me (in my head):  Gosh, that’s decent.  I really appreciate–

Sam continues:  “Save that reaction for when they’re making out in the kitchen.”

Thanks, Sam.

Not Too Old Yet

Mark just started third grade, and Kate the fifth, so they’re not little-bitty kids anymore.  But they’re still young enough for this sort of conversation to take place:

(In the pool)

Mark (splashing):  “Bruhahaha!”

Kate:  “Stop!  Let me get used to the water before you attack.”

(she swims around to get acclimated, then climbs out to go off the diving board.”

Mark:  “Aaacck!  You showed me your butt crack!”

Kate:  “Not on purpose.  My suit slid down.”

Mark (sensing an opportunity):  “I will be revenged.  FOR THE SHOWING OF THE BUTT CRAACCCKKKK!!!”

(much splashing)

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